It’s like raaaaain on your wedding day!

“‘It’s like having to re-read Half Blood Prince when you want to read Deathy Hallows’ could be a lyric from Alanis Morissette’s Ironic, as in, it’s not remotely ironic but it describes something that sucks ass.” -Graham

“Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are”

And the Great Re-Skimming of Book 6 continues in a frantic pursuit of where we left off and eventually (oh god, eventually), Book 7. I will find out how this series ends, so help me! It will happen! (((triumphant fist pump)))

Chapter 4 – Chair Man! Chair Man! Doing Things Only Chair Men Can!*
*potentially not the official title

Slughorn is a Slytherin and he is hiding from the Death Eaters…supposedly. Yeah, I don’t buy it. Something’s definitely up.

Wait, hold it right there. Hold it right there, missy. You mean something is up in a Harry Potter book? You mean to tell me things aren’t as they appear? What are you playing at, lady? What is this lunacy?

Maybe I just don’t like Slughorn. And honestly, I get the feeling I don’t like him in the same way I didn’t like Lockhart, which means he may be entirely harmless and simply a dislikable chair-of-a-fellow (Okay, Lockhart wasn’t a chair. It would be daft to make two separate characters into chairs, now wouldn’t it? A couch, maybe, but not a chair…)

Brushing over the Slughorn thing for a minute, though (since we did cover that part already when I tried to read this book the first time), what’s with Dumbledore’s hand? Moreover, what’s with the ring on his hand? Is it a horcrux? Is it? Is it? Huh? Huh? Huh?

It’s worth pointing out I haven’t the vaguest clue what the hell a horcrux is, so don’t answer that quite yet. I’m not there. But check me out, throwing around Harry Potter terminology like I have the damnedest clue what I’m talking about.

Maybe Snape also has a ring. And McGonagall. And Hagrid, Trelawney, and Flitwick. Maybe Dumbledore is “Heart”. Maybe, with their powers combined, they are Captain Planet!

Or maybe the ring is a horcrux, whatever the hell that is.

Or maybe I just like that word.
 

Chapter 5: J.K.’s Subtle Message to Hate the French*
*Original title, changed last minute for legal reasons

Hello, Fleur. I forgot you existed. I guess this means you will have some bearing on the plot later on. I highly doubt you were introduced just to make a clever tie between Book 4 and Book 6. Of course, it’s possible, but I’ve found every time I even so much as question J.K.’s writing, the villagers chase me with torches and pitchforks yelling “Burn the witch!” (which seems vaguely ironic). So I’m going to take a flying leap and say that you do something important at some point in the future (or your fiance does).

Side note: I hope Percy comes back to the Weasleys unharmed, with his head safely removed from his ass. Yes, there I go again, cheering on the unpopular characters. I just feel bad for Mrs. Weasley. I mean, one of her brood will certainly die (if the unfortunate spoiler I stumbled upon turns out to be true). Okay, logic dictates when you have a family that large and the death toll is that high, it’s only economical for someone to kick the cauldron. Of course, we’re not there yet.

Artist rendering of Karkarkoff and Krum

Chapter 6: Moose and Squirrel*
*Are the Russians aware this cartoon existed and if so, does it piss them off? Moreover, were they aware that someday, a British chick would make a fictional Russian wizard, just to have him die before the end of the series? Was this knowledge what ended the Cold War? Think about it…

If Karkaroff is dead, does that mean more Viktor Krum before this series ends? If Fleur is back, and Harry bemoaned Cedric enough to make it feel like he never left, it only makes sense to say Viktor is en route. I’m just not sure when or in what fashion. I’d cite the film, but lord knows, the film isn’t accurate at this point.

Speaking of the film’s accuracies (or lack thereof), I still say Draco is trying to get a wardrobe fixed. My brilliant powers of deduction (and movie watching abilities) conclude that he is at Brogin and Burkes discussing something wardrobe-like.

So concludes this installment of the Great Re-Skimming of Book 6. Join us next time for more repetitiveness in a desperate attempt to FINALLY get back to the Katie Bell chapter.

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And because this blog is 95% Harry Potter, 5% irrational dislike of Twilight, here you go! (she said, realizing slowly that the same people who like Harry Potter may, in fact, also like Twilight…oh well! The irrational judgement of one fantasy series while reading another fantasy series continues)

New Moon in One Minute

Snape, Kreacher, and Harry Potter College

Chapter 2: Spinner’s End – Reread

I said it before and I’ll say it again, Snape is not the bad guy. There is more to this pact with Narcissa and Bellatrix than meets the eye, and while I’m sure we won’t find out the extent of the situation until Book 7, I’m convinced Snape will turn out to be good in the end.

Same goes for Draco, while we’re at it.

People keep asking me why I’m so committed to this idea that Draco and Snape will be vindicated by the end of the story. Maybe it’s pity? Maybe it’s my inability to accept that these fascinating characters could actually be bad. But maybe, it’s really my refusal to see any of the characters in this series as that two-dimensional. Snape and Draco being evil is too easy for J.K.

This may all come back to bite me in the ass. Point taken. But I’ve come to terms with making absurd predictions that turn out to be completely and utterly off the mark. I’ll risk it for the chance to REALLY be right about something BIG!
 

Chapter 3: Will and Won’t – Reread

Kreacher is at Hogwarts. Right! That’s a fact that completely slipped my mind over the course of reading (or not reading) this book. Harry owns Grimmauld Place, so he owns Kreacher. I blew past this fact last time, so let’s talk about it for a minute.

This can go two ways: 1) Kreacher will go the way of Cho and vanish into the pages or 2) He’ll stir up trouble. I’d prefer the first, but I fear the latter. Maybe it would be too easy for this drastically annoying character to disappear. Or maybe it would be too much for him to stick around. We’ll see, I guess. Or I’ll see – you all already know…

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In other news, the fact that the first children to read the Harry Potter series are currently in college or just finishing up is very evident in this article from the BBC. While the idea of Oxford University actually changing the name of a common room to Gryffindor seems ridiculous, even from a complete fangirl standpoint, it’s interesting to see the impact the series has had on a generation of children follow them into adulthood.

My junior or senior year of college, a new class entitled “Harry Potter: Blessing or Blasphemy” started. The series wasn’t even complete yet, and already the administration felt that the material was pertinent enough to merit collegiate study and of interest to a college audience.

I don’t care how much you love Twilight, show me the college classes that form around THAT thing. I’ll wait here…

Book 6: Let’s try that again, shall we?

Hello, blogosphere!

Let me take a moment to reintroduce myself: My name is Jess, I am the Last Muggle to Read Harry Potter, and for those of you who have been checking back here over the past few weeks and wondering where the hell I went, you just received first-hand proof of WHY I’m the Last Muggle to Read Harry Potter – I’m an insanely, absurdly, almost comically busy person. Life is what happens when you’re trying to read the Harry Potter series, I guess.

That said, the show I was directing has closed (it went really well!) and the December show I’m working on hasn’t quite kicked up yet, meaning I actually have the time to read again!

So just like “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”, I’m back and causing trouble.

But it’s been so long! How can I possibly expect to keep the plot twists of Book 6 straight after such a signficant absence?

I can’t.

That is why I am starting Book 6 over.

Yes, for the next few days, I will be REREADING Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Dun-dun-dun!

Let’s be fair – this is the book a bunch of people told me was their favorite. I would be doing an injustice to this whole project if I tried to jump back into things where I left off. Quickly skimming through the chapters leading up to Katie Bell’s unfortunate meeting with a cursed necklace is the best way to handle this.

In the interest of not being absurdly repetitive, I hope I can find something different to comment about as I make my way through this for the second time. And who knows? Maybe I’ll actually figure out where this thing is going if I go back and read it again.

That said…

CHAPTER 1: THE OTHER MINISTER (reread)

I had completely forgotten about Scrimgeour. See, there’s a benefit to going back. He’s probably (probably? yeah, probably) pretty important, being the whole “New Minister of Magic” and everything. Just gonna throw that out there.

Interesting nuance I noticed this time around: the Prime Minister recalls how Fudge asked permission to import three foreign dragons for the Triwizard Tournament. Was the fourth dragon already in the country? I’m sure this was covered, but I disregarded it as completely unimportant to the overall plot. Or maybe Fudge didn’t ask permission to import the fourth one. Then again, he really didn’t ask permission in the first place.

I just thought that was interesting. Important? Eh, probably not. But interesting nonetheless.

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The results of the most recent poll (which I let go on way too long) and a new poll will be coming shortly.

Welcome back!

Katie Bell Takes Flight

Not to credit the films over the books, especially this last film (which I’m already noticing was a ridiculously poor adaptation of the text), but the cursing of Katie Bell stands out as a remarkably memorable image from the movie. I remember it striking me as horribly violent and unsettling for a kid’s book. Keep in mind, until I started reading, I was convinced this series was for children. Silly, silly Muggle.

"You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air." -Peter Pan

So finally getting to the moment where Katie Bell took flight was both satisfying (because I could link it with a moment I clearly remembered from the film) and unnerving (because I realized moreso from the reading exactly what her cursing implies, and how close she got to going the way of Cedric Diggory).

Book 6 is dark. I’m not telling any of you Harry Potter fans anything new, but as someone approaching it for the first time, it’s amazingly darker than Book 5, which shocked me for somehow being darker than Book 4. I respect J.K. for her twisted vision. The violence encountered by school children and teenagers is honestly twisted. But then, isn’t all the best literature a little off kilter?

Before I get into “Who sent the Necklace?”, I want to talk about Tonks for a minute. I love Tonks. I loved Tonks in Book 5. I continue to love Tonks in Book 6. But to be honest, she was one of those characters I didn’t expect to see much of in Half-Blood Prince – while she clearly hadn’t played herself to the fullest in Order of the Phoenix, I didn’t anticipate too much from her this time around. I figured she’d come into play somewhere along the line, mostly because she was too interesting to disappear after one battle at the Ministry. Still, I didn’t anticipate she’d have such a mysterious role this time around. Something is up with Tonks. Something is not right. How did she just-so-happen to appear at Hogsmede right when Harry was confronting Mundungus (who may not have been the bad guy of Book 5, as I previously predicted, but still remains an ass)? That’s just a little too convenient to dismiss. I’m sorry. If reading these books has taught me anything, it’s to never dismiss something that is just too good to be true.

Tonks doesn’t join the dark side, does she?

Yes, I keep wanting to apply Star Wars terminology to this series. And no, I don’t even like Star Wars.

I hope Tonks doesn’t go bad. But oh man, that would be a fantastic plot twist if she did…

Anyway, I’m rambling. The necklace! Who sent the necklace?

I honestly do not think it was Draco. Ignoring my inexplicable adoration for the little blonde twit, I just don’t think he’s that clever. Someone is trying to kill Dumbledore. Obviously. Part of me wants to think that Snape sent it in order to keep Draco from having to kill Dumbledore on his own, but that would run counter my argument that Snape only kills Dumbledore because he made the unbreakable vow to step-in if Draco is unable to complete the deed himself. Actually, come to think of it, I bet Narcissa sent it. A desperate mother will go to desperate measures to protect her cub. Or is that giving Narcissa too much credit? Maybe Bellatrix sent it, because she’s batshit crazy. I could see where she wouldn’t want Draco to steal her thunder and kill Dumbledore, when such an act would put him in high favor with Voldemort (for whom she harbors a massive people crush). But that seems too cunning for Bellatrix.

My vote is with Narcissa. That would make sense, thematically. The series seems very focused on mothers making sacrifices for their children – or failing to do so. Harry’s mother dies for her son, Voldemort’s mother dies in spite of her son. Why not have Narcissa step up to the plate?

This brings me to my favorite quote of Chapter 12, when Dumbledore points out to Harry that yes, Voldemort’s mother had a choice not to die in order to be there for her son – but Harry’s mother had the choice, as well.

Ouch.

The Invisible Invisibility Cloak Plot Clue

First off, a big hello to thehogshead.org readers! Glad to have you!

A few things you should know about this crazy little project. Yes, I am really reading the series for the very first time (I’ve been living under a rock, which is much like living in a closet under a staircase). While I’ve seen 5 of the 6 films, I really don’t remember them that well. And yes, I love comments (this is like one gigantic book club, where I’m the only one still reading the book), but no spoilers! Also, you should know I like to make predictions about where things are going…but my track record is abysmal.

I mean really abysmal.

Impressively abysmal.

I thought Lupin was Crookshanks and Tom Riddle was a good guy.

Case in point:

Chapter 11: Hermione’s Helping Hand

“Can you think of any way Malfoy – ?”
“Oh, drop it, Harry.”

In the midst of Quidditch trials and a visit with Hagrid, Harry started surmising that Draco must have snuck something Dark into Hogwarts – a theory that was quickly shot down by both Hermione and Ron.

My mind started racing. “Draco used Harry’s invisibility cloak! Draco used Harry’s invisibility cloak! He stole it from him on the train, remember?” I was so excited. I had finally figured something out. Fist pump! Celebratory dance! And the characters would figure it out soon enough.

Or not, because in fact, Draco didn’t take Harry’s invisibility cloak on the train. He left Harry beneath it, to ride paralyzed and undiscovered back to London.

Fail.

So this brings me back to the wardrobe. Again, I saw the sixth film (though it made very little coherent sense, to be honest). I remember something about a wardrobe, though – a wardrobe and an unfortunate canary. I’m 99.9% sure that the wardrobe will link up with one on Knockturn Alley, creating a portal into Hogwarts, thus sneaking in the Death Eaters, yada yada yada, Snape kills Dumbledore.

I remember that part – or at least I’m very successfully making that part up to myself. What I don’t remember is why the Half-Blood Prince is important. Yes, yes, the Half-Blood Prince is Snape. They give that away entirely too early in the film. I’m just not sure why that matters. Okay, so Snape was really excellent at Potions. Fabulous. And…?

I don’t feel like this is Harry’s story so much as Snape’s story, at least at this stage in the game. As I said back in September, though, I am still not convinced Snape is evil. I think there’s more to it than that. Perhaps I’m grasping at straws here, but I really don’t want him to be evil, in the same way I don’t want Draco to be evil. Hey, maybe no one turns out to be evil and it’s all just one big misunderstanding. Cut to Harry and Voldemort sitting around a campfire, toasting smores and telling scary Muggle stories…

Too optimistic?

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The Weekly Reader’s Poll is back. Check it out in the sidebar!

Who’s Your Daddy?

I’m baaaaaack!

The world’s slowest trudge through Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince continues, one chapter at a time. It’s not for lack of love for the series that I have gone so long without writing. I simply have not had the time to read anything. This was perhaps the main reason I didn’t read the series when it first came out. I am insanely busy most of the time. Not to delve too far into my crazy hectic life, but the show I’m directing opens in less than two weeks (ahh!), and I’ll pick up the pace again once that happens. Until then, I don’t have the heart to half-ass my way through the series. I’ve waited this long to read it – I want to enjoy it. If that means taking FOREVER to get through Book 6, so be it. It’s not going anywhere.

That said, I took time at lunch yesterday to read Chapter 10: The House of Gaunt. I have to be honest – it’s difficult to jump back into this book. I spent a few minutes trying to remember what happened in chapters 1-9, but then I realized very little happened that was worth remembering. It was all exposition. Nothing earth-shattering. Slughorn was hired. Snape took on the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. The Half-Blood Prince’s spell book is the best thing since sliced bread. We visited the Weasley’s successful shop. Dumbledore burnt his hand in some horrible accident (duel?) he won’t talk about. Wizards are disappearing left and right (Ollivander, wherefore art thou?) Harry grew a pair. Draco turned angsty. Shit got real in Knockturn Alley. Tonks is suffering from mad depression. Fleur came back. So on and so forth – but nothing…surprising? Yeah, nothing particularly surprising.

I like Book 6 so far, but I’m not sure what we’re getting at in this one. My understanding is we’re simply getting at Book 7. Lots of people have told me they love Book 6 – a few choice people have told me they hate it. I remain wholly undecided.

But enough about the book itself – let’s talk about Chapter 10.

I guess all wizards have to come from somewhere, even the evil ones, and when a Mommy Wizard and a Daddy Muggle love each other very much (because the Mommy Wizard put the Daddy Muggle under a powerful love spell), they make a Baby Wizard – and I suppose sometimes that Baby Wizard grows up to be a power-hungry mass murderer. Que sera sera.

I like Merope. I think it’s safe to say I like Merope, because she seems to die before she could possibly do anything ridiculously wrong, and her situation in life is completely out of her control. Yes, perhaps the argument can be made that putting a muggle under a love spell is not in anyone’s best interests, but that means forcing logic on a character that has been browbeaten by her sadistic relatives – her sadistic Slytherin relatives, at that.

It’s nice to see the makings of Voldemort’s motivation begin to develop. I appreciate the message that one is not born evil – one becomes evil. I sort of know where this is going (thank you, film #6) – Voldemort will be left in an orphanage because his muggle father wants nothing to do with him and his mother dies. Actually, that’s touched on in the chapter, as well.

The similarities to Harry’s story are fantastic. They are ridiculously similar figures. The fact that they could have gone in each other’s direction is a strong point in this part of the series. It makes for a compelling tale and a much more interesting rivalry. What’s perhaps more interesting than the fact that Harry could have been evil, is the fact that Voldemort could have been good.

To what end Dumbledore is taking so much time to show Harry these memories, I am not sure. Perhaps it’s simply a device to tell the readers the background information. I’m sure it will be worked nicely into the overall plot, so as not to come off as a device. And I really appreciate the depth of the story. To an extent, I find the adults way more interesting than the students. But part of me still feels Dumbledore should be teaching Harry how to defend himself and jinx the ever-living-wizard out of Voldemort - not taking him on a trip down memory lane. I figure this is a prevalent opinion among readers.

Would You Take Defense Against the Dark Arts with Snape?

Before you answer, consider the following:

You’ve already taken Defense Against the Dark Arts from Quirrell, who was a host body for Voldemort; Lupin, who turned out to be a werewolf (a totally harmless werewolf, but a werewolf nonetheless); Mad-Eye Moody, who turned out to actually be Barty Crouch Jr.; and Umbridge, who we all know is batshit crazy (to be blunt).

Is it really that big of a leap to take the course from Snape? At the end of the day, his absolute adoration for the Dark Arts may be a benefit. If you know how to do them, you know how to defend against them. And when it comes to such an important class, you don’t want a professor who is soft or nice. You want someone who will beat you down and push you hard and make you work to even pass.

So ignoring the fact that Snape kills Dumbledore – because you wouldn’t know that yet – would you take Defense Against the Dark Arts from Snape?

I would, especially if I was Harry. He needs someone to push him to the brink. He needs to learn everything he possibly can if he ever hopes to beat Voldemort. Snape hates him. Who better to challenge the heck out of him?

Yes, I would take Defense Against the Dark Arts from the Dark Arts guy himself. Know your enemy.

Slightly off the topic, I enjoy the loophole they threw in there to keep Harry on track to becoming an auror. Harry couldn’t continue with Potions if Snape was teaching the N.E.W.T. course, but now that he’s not…very clever.

I don’t think Harry will be an auror, though. Hmm…

Chapters 7 & 8 in Bitesize Morsels

Called it! Snape is teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, just like I predicted. And now for my next trick…

To be honest, I hesitate to say anything I “guess” about Book 6 is really a guess and not just a vague memory from the very confusing film. But let me bask in my glory, no matter how undeserved. Correct predictions on my part come around so infrequently.

This weekend, I plowed through chapters 7 and 8, which really isn’t a great deal of progress, but is better than reading absolutely nothing and leaving this blog completely unattended for a full week. What a slacker! Still, my actors are on Fall Break and I have a wicked cold, so what better way to make use of my time than to spend an hour buried in a Harry Potter book? Surprisingly, for having only read two chapters, I have a lot to say. Okay, maybe the fact that I have a lot to say doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone.

So, because it’s always easier to split things into easily digestible morsels…

Morsel #1: Slughorn
I don’t like him, but I don’t dislike him. He’s self-promoting and a Slytherin, and yet he hasn’t actually done anything to earn complete and utter dislike. In a book chock full of characters who just beg to be despised, Slughorn hasn’t quite made it into those ranks yet. He sure is slimy, though – saddling up to the most well-positioned students and cutting out those who are of no use to him.

Something that caught my attention when Ginny showed up to Slughorn’s meeting: are Ginny and Harry in any way like Lily and James? Harry’s not a pompous ass like his father (yeah, I said it), but I’m sensing some similarities. Ginny really has nothing to offer Slughorn but her skills, which I can only assume is what Lily offered as well. I know Ginny and Harry get together in this book, but I don’t believe they stay together. Still, it’s something to consider.

Morsel #2: Violent Video Games Made Me Do It
The children are getting violent! The fight at the Ministry was turbulent, to say the least, but so much to be expected. Draco kicking Harry square in the nose is a new kind of violence. That’s the kind of violence you can feel through the text – the kind of violence that would make me wrestle this book out of a child’s hands and hand her a Babysitter’s Club book or something in exchange.

This whole book is cringe-worthy, with people disappearing, muggles and wizards alike in constant danger, and severe, unapologetic violence. I will say, to its benefit, that the violence is not gratuitous. It’s just that when you have one character kicking another in the face and you’re only on Chapter 7, you can expect things to only get worse.

Morsel #3: Snape, You’ve Just Won the Opportunity to Teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. What are You Going to Do Now?
Again, I called it – but maybe I didn’t really call it, just remembered it. Either way, Snape is teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, which raises a number of questions, and these questions hinge on my previous predictions.

If Snape is really a good guy, and his murder of Dumbledore is to serve a higher purpose, than it makes total sense that Dumbledore would trust him with this job. If Snape is actually a bad guy, maybe Dumbledore really is losing his touch. Or maybe Dumbledore knows Snape is a bad guy and there is a reason to keep him around and give him this job. I feel like these pieces will not come together fully in this book. A conversation with a friend over the weekend gives me the impression that there is a lot more I just don’t realize yet, and I’m probably completely off the mark. That said, the whole thing’s curious.

Morsel #4: I’m a Big Kid Now
Harry’s no longer a whiney little bitch. Hazaah! He’s friends with who he wants to be friends with and everyone else can screw off, in plain English. It’s a nice change. The same friend I mentioned before noted that the train scene, in which Harry sits with Luna and Neville even though they aren’t “cool” (who is, really?) almost mirrors the scene in Book 5, except Harry’s not embarrassed this time. No, in this book, we’re leaving the overly emotional, completely unbalanced, fatalistic childishness to Draco.

Which leads me to…

Morsel #5: Draco’s Definitely a Death Eater
This is not a prediction. I saw the film. The clues are obvious. Draco’s a Death Eater. Poor life choice, buddy. Poor life choice – but a wholly predictable one. I mean, if you introduced me to Draco when he was a child and asked “What do you think this kid will grow up to be?”, I probably wouldn’t have come back with “A really nice guy.” He doesn’t seem like a nice guy. There’s very little nice about Draco. And yet, I still want there to be some sort of redeeming moment for him. Maybe I put too much stock in this character. It’s not his story. Redeeming him may take away from the overall plot. I just want him to be okay. I’m rooting for him, though this may only end in tears.

I stated this weekend that if J.K. kills off Draco, I’m putting the book down and not finishing the series. Fair warning. (Don’t tell me!)

 

Side note: To all of you who have been diligently checking back here for updates, thank you. To all of you who have been very patient while I’ve been M.I.A., thank you. And to all of you who are new to this blog (there seems to be some new faces), welcome!

Harry Potter Acting Chops

Who is your favorite actor in the Harry Potter films? It’s a pretty weighted question if you consider the many factors that go into it. You can have a renowned, seasoned actor on screen, such as Emma Thompson, who is portraying a character who simply is not as developed and interesting as the other characters she is playing against. In that way, someone like Tom Felton, who is much younger and inexperienced by comparison, somehow outshines a veteran actor. It ain’t fair – but hey, that’s showbiz, kid!

That said, you heavily favored someone with clear merit, both as an actor and a character – 37% of you voted for Alan Rickman (Severus Snape). It’s difficult to imagine anyone else embodying Snape quite like Rickman. His voice, his look, and his mannerisms all match the description given by the text. This is a prime example of phenomenal casting. No arguments. I don’t care how evil (or good) Snape ends up, it’s actually a pleasure having him on screen. Essentially, Rickman can just stand in front of Hogwarts reading the phone book and I’d probably see the film.

I make no claims to this image - this is someone else's brainchild. And that someone else is awesome...

With a not-too-shabby 19% of the vote is Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange). Before, I mentioned how I was struggling to hate Bellatrix simply because I adore Carter. She’s just so good at being so awful! It’s worth pointing out, though, that she seems to have made a career out of playing the crazy bitch.

Pulling a five-way tie for 3rd place, with 7% of the vote, we have Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley), Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), Maggie Smith (Minerva McGonagall), Gary Oldman (Sirius Black), and Richard Harris (the original Albus Dumbledore). A few thoughts:

I raise an eyebrow whenever someone says one of the younger actors is their favorite. My mind immediately goes “fan girls!” and writes off the opinion. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying they aren’t talented. You grow up on screen, portraying the same character for most of your life, and you’re bound to be good at it. I’m just floating the opinion that perhaps, just perhaps, they cannot possibly outshine someone more experienced. A plethora of screen time does not a scene-stealing actor make.

Grint is precious. He could not be any more British if he was the Queen of England herself. And Felton I’m just not sure about. I started to buy him as a very strong actor in the sixth film, but I need to see what happens in the seventh before I say anything. He could become very one-note. Lots of people can look troubled and angsty.

Maggie Smith, on the other hand, is a goddess of the screen. I will not argue with this vote – in fact, I question why it wasn’t higher. It’s not easy playing the reservation she portrays. That self-contained attitude takes a lot more work than simply losing your shit on screen.

As for Richard Harris, I’d have to go back to the first film to cast an opinion. Terrible truth – I wouldn’t have noticed the differences between the Dumbledores if everyone hadn’t made such a big deal about it. I just never paid that much attention to the films. And while the match isn’t perfect, they did a pretty good job hiding it. It’s not like the case of the mysteriously switching Darrens in Bewitched.

So you guys do realize you stuck Gary Oldman in the same category as a guy who died before the series was finished, right? Because it’s Gary Oldman, and I don’t know if I need to remind you who that is, but it’s GARY OLDMAN! This vote surprised me. I remain surprised. Surprised and shocked. Shock and awed. Awed. Just awed.

And with a mere 4% of the vote (which amounts to 1 vote each, for those of you scoring at home), we have Ralph Fiennes (Lord Voldemort) and Daniel Radcliff (Harry Potter). Again, a few things…

Ralph Fiennes is one of my favorite actors of all time. I would pay to watch him watch paint dry. And while he’s barely discernable under all that Voldemort makeup, it takes a special actor to pull off what he pulls of as that character. “Hey, listen – we have this part in this film for you. Your job is to play the embodiment of evil. You up for it?” Granted, this is a man who played the embodiment of evil back in the early nineties with Schindler’s List, so I suppose it’s only a few steps from a Nazi to Voldemort (they’re a few very weird steps, but a few steps nonetheless).

Daniel Radcliff – only one vote. Hmmm. For all my lecturing about the young actors outshining the veterans, and how having a good character does not make you a good performer, I’m still surprised so many other actors stole the show from the lead. At the end of the day, he is Harry Potter. And it will be interesting to watch him break away from that role. They always say the challenge for a child actor is to force the world to see them outside their childhood role. Try doing that when you are the face of the most well-known fictional child in recent history. Equus was a good start, I’ll give him that.

I’m not particularly surprised Emma Watson didn’t make this vote. I liked her better when she was a frazzled child. As an unnecessarily attractive teen, she’s kind of blah in the acting department. No offense. I’m sure she’s a lovely person. Just not my cup of tea – and seemingly, no one else’s either.

So there you have it – another Reader Poll down. You may notice the dramatic lack of “poll” in the sidebar. I haven’t come up with a new one yet – it’s getting tricky. Stay tuned. It’s coming.